Could that be... Inspiration?!

I think it might be! The cause is very simple to discover, my dear Watsons. I finished my senior paper on Tuesday, decorated the manilla folder Wednesday (now I insanely regret not taking a picture of it... it was a work of art, that) and handed it in Friday. It's like a giant burden was slowly released from my shoulders during the course of this week, and after the paper forced me to write on a deadline, inspiration has finally struck again!



If you can't tell how excited I am by this, maybe I'm not the best writer. But I am so excited - last night a story idea came zinging into my brain, and after I finish this post I am going to set out to write and research! I'm also 99% sure Skyrim helped bring it on - but only in the setting. I love the setting for that game, and so I am going to feature something similar in my story.

My English teacher has also agreed to edit my other story, the one I wrote for NaNoWriMo this year. Which is exciting and all, but that means I have to push it from Draft Zero to at least Draft Three or Four before I let her see it at all. It's a mess, verily, and not even finished. That might have to be Priority One, now that my senior year is basically all coasting from here.

Ha. I just realized I have at least two story ideas that made it somewhere halfway before I lost determination and passion for them. I'll dig those up and see what I can do there.

My Gold Award is... well, if it hasn't skinned its knees on the deadly rocks of it-is-so-difficult-to-coordinate-a-project-like-this-it's-not-even-funny, it's certainly tripped and fallen headfirst. I haven't done anything with it since January. I don't know what to do - I am literally at a loss. I know that I can't have a pen-pal program anymore, because my group is too small and the countries I had wanted to coordinate aren't giving me anything. That, plus the fact that I freaking hate leading/organizing a project also comes into play.

I have a dreadful feeling it's going to end up in a fight like yesterday, when my mom thought I was going to play lacrosse. When I told her I wasn't going to, her reaction was literally that of someone getting smacked in the face. She blinked for a while, then said in that I'm-slowly-getting-pissed voice, "Why not?"

I told her, "Because I don't like to play sports. I never have."

I knew that this would make her mad. This is not the first time I've had this conversation with my parents. When I tell them I don't like something, they immediately get on the defensive because they think I think they made me do all sorts of things I didn't like, in the span of my career. So I had to cut the bud before it bloomed.

I can't even describe that conversation, but it makes me angry every time I remember it.

...Woah, sorry! I'm not sure why I felt the need to tell you this - I guess just because it makes me mad when adults immediately go on the defensive if kids don't live up to their expectations.

I'm not attacking you, parents/teachers. I'm just telling how I feel, and that I, as an adult, am not going to do everything you want me to do in life.

So I don't know what I'm going to do for my Gold Award. Most likely bullshit my way through it, just so I can get that little metal pin. Yuck.